I’m happy to report that my cold is on the mend and we’ll be back on the road tomorrow. Unfortunately, whenever we have a blip I start to revert to my normal head space. I am a terrible worrier, if there’s nothing wrong I’ll imagine something just to have something to worry about. Or at least that’s how I was. I can’t say I’m completely cured of this neurosis, but being out of my comfort zone certainly seems to have strengthened my mind. There’s still a lot of work to do, I’m not quite a zen master but I’m certainly more relaxed and able to roll with the punches than I have ever been.
I’m still left with the biggest bonkers thought I’ve had since we started talking about doing this. And that is that I’m a great big fraud…
“How dare I think I can do this”
“How dare I think I deserve this”
“Who the hell do I think I am swanning off!”
I keep waiting for travellers we met to see that I’m a great big scaredy pants who so out her depth I think I need to invest in arm bands.
But as I’ve dropped dozens of other fears and worries I’m sure this one will pass too.
List of fears conquered!
Tunnels, Bugs, Gravel (almost), big drops (almost), dropping my bike (done it once and survived), falling out with Stuart (all the time, but we are still talking), not enjoying riding my bike (Doh!!!).
There’s load more little things that become even smaller everyday. So I can only assume that getting out and doing that scary thing could well be a good thing. It certainly has been for me!
So here’s to tomorrow and another day on the road with the person I probably like the most in all the world.